Getting My Priorities Straight

So here's the thing, I've always been a bit of a scatterbrain. My mind flits from one idea to the next like a butterfly in a field of flowers, never settling on one long enough to truly appreciate its beauty. It's a curse and a blessing, this constant stream of thoughts and possibilities.

And it actually gets worse! I have a really vivid memory, the kind that never forgets a thing. But it's a double-edged sword. I remember every little detail, every mistake, every misstep. It's like my brain is a giant filing cabinet, and every embarrassing moment is carefully cataloged and stored for future reference. It's exhausting, really.

Anytime I remember something, it comes with all the emotions and feelings that came with it. It's like reliving the moment all over again. It's a lot to carry around, you know?

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And these past years, man, they've been a lot. If you were thinking this was a blog post, you should probably check out my other entries here.

This part of the page is where I usually keep my thoughts. Now why today? You see that dating thing? Yeah, I've tried it for some time, and boy, I must say, it is just not for me... like fr.

Getting the girl isn't really the issue here, at least not for me. But after you get them, it's either they're not healed, they're still hooked on their ex, they're insanely naive, or they were just looking for a stepping stone. I'm not trying to be a lover boy or something, NO, I will never be that guy AGAIN!

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So I started thinking, and you might be thinking too. What's the point of all this? What's the point of dating, of relationships, of love? Is it just a game we play to pass the time, to distract ourselves from the emptiness that lurks beneath the surface? Or is there something more, something deeper, something real?

I really, really wish I knew the answer to that. But I don't. I'm just a guy with a lot of questions and not a lot of answers. And that's okay, I think. It's okay to not know everything, to not have it all figured out. It's okay to be lost, to be confused, to be uncertain. It's okay to be human.

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So here's what I figured out at least: most people aren't looking for anything serious at this time. Yeah, it's the truth. They're just looking for a good time, a distraction, a temporary escape from the monotony of their lives. And that's fine, I guess. We all need a little excitement now and then, a little adventure, a little danger. But what happens when the thrill wears off, when the novelty fades, when reality comes crashing back in? What then? What do we do when we're left alone with our thoughts, our fears, our doubts? What do we do when we're faced with the truth, the truth that we've been running from all along?

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Well, that is when I get my priorities straight. I've been thinking about it a lot lately, about what really matters, about what's truly important in life. And you know what I've realized? It's not the girls, the money, the pleasure, the fame, the sneaky links, the Netflix and chill and whatnot. No, not really. It's the little things, the simple things, the things that money can't buy. It's the laughter of a child, the smile of a stranger, the warmth of the sun on your face. It's the feeling of sand between your toes, the sound of waves crashing on the shore.

It's that state of mind when you feel like you're on top of the world, like nothing can touch you, nothing can bring you down. It's that feeling of peace, of contentment, of happiness. It's that moment when you realize that you're exactly where you're supposed to be, doing exactly what you're supposed to be doing. It's that moment when you feel alive, truly alive, more alive than you've ever felt before.

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And at those moments, you realize, you don't need anyone to make you feel alive. Yes! You don't. And it took me a while to realize that, to truly understand it, to embrace it. But now that I have, I feel free, I feel liberated, I feel alive. And that's a feeling that no one can take away from me, no matter what happens, no matter where life takes me.

"The only way to find true happiness is to risk being completely cut open."

Chuck Palahniuk

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However, for those still searching for love, this is what I would have to say on that bit: what happened in the past has already happened; refusing to live for the future in fear that it might happen again is not living at all. You have to let go of the past, let go of the hurt, let go of the pain. You have to forgive yourself, forgive others, forgive the world. You have to start fresh, start anew, start now. You have to open your heart, open your mind, open your soul. You have to be vulnerable, be honest, be real. You have to take a chance, take a risk, take a leap of faith. You have to believe, believe in yourself, believe in others, believe in love. You have to be brave, be strong, be fearless. You have to be willing to get hurt, willing to get rejected, willing to get broken. You have to be willing to love, willing to be loved, willing to be hurt. You have to be willing to risk it all, risk everything, risk nothing. You have to be willing to be happy, willing to be sad, willing to be alone. You have to be willing to be alive.

Most importantly, even if it hurts, you must be willing to do it again. And that is hard, it feels terrifying. Trust me, I know. Schooling, wealth, health, etc., are nice pursuits, but love is what makes it all worth it. It's what makes life worth living. It's what makes us human. It's what makes us whole. It's what makes us alive.

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For the sex part, I'm not going to say much. I've already written about it here. But I'll just say this, well I won't say, read it for yourself.😭😂😂

So here's to love, to life, to happiness, to pain, to joy, to sorrow, to laughter, to tears, to everything in between. Here's to being alive, truly alive, more alive than we've ever felt before. Here's to taking risks, taking chances, taking leaps of faith, and keeping our priorities straight.

"And when the replacement comes, then you will know that it was worth losing the latter"

probably me ;D